Supporting Siblings of Children With Special Needs

4 MIN. READ

The siblings of children with special needs have their own unique challenges. They may worry about their brother or sister and feel responsibility for their welfare. At the same time though, they may hesitate to bring friends home or worry that they don't want to further burden their parents by admitting how difficult it is for them to have a sibling who requires so much. It's important to address any questions or concerns that siblings of children with special needs may have to help foster honest and open communication with all your children.

Kids need to be kids

Whether the special needs child is older or younger than other siblings, his siblings may feel responsible for his well-being. In a sense, the other children in the family may adopt a parenting role towards the special needs sibling.

Sometimes, this dynamic works well. Other times, not so much.

It's helpful to remember that the siblings of children with special needs are still children themselves. They may not be able or willing to assume adult-like care of their sibling. Instead, they can benefit from simply being a typical brother or sister - playing with their sibling and enjoying their time together. This dynamic, in itself, lays a foundation for their lifelong bond.

Honesty is the best policy

While you may not have all of the answers regarding your special needs child, try to talk openly with your other children about their sibling's challenges.

Provide your children with as much age-appropriate information regarding their special needs sibling as you can. For example, a younger sibling may not understand that their older sibling has ADHD, but they may understand that their sibling has difficulty concentrating on his school work or paying attention during family conversations.

It is helpful to be aware of the efforts that your children put in towards their sibling. Your recognition assures your children that you notice and appreciate them for who they are. When you acknowledge positive behaviors that they exhibit, it is more likely they feel secure enough to confide in you regarding any feelings, frustrations or questions they have about their sibling. Although it can be emotionally painful to listen to them express their negative feelings aloud, it is one of the most significant ways in which you can be a source of support and presence.

Furthermore, when your child is well-informed and shown positive ways to express their thoughts and inner challenges, this can foster a more positive communication environment for the whole family.

Divide and conquer

Caring for your child with special needs may require much of your time, but remember that all kids want and need their parents' attention.

It is incredibly difficult to balance work life, home responsibilities, a special needs child together with their other children. When possible, try to carve out some special time for each child.

Whether that time takes the form of a "family night" during which the child is able to choose the family's activity for the evening or maybe something as simple as a one-on-one bed time ritual, all children benefit from receiving personal attention and having special alone time with a parent.

Reach out for assistance

Just as your children look to you for guidance, consider looking to other parents, support groups and professionals for assistance.

Consider finding assistance if you notice certain warning signs in your children with a special needs sibling. Such signs might include:

• Changes in sleep or behavior patterns.
• Loss of appetite.
• Lack of interest in family activities.
• Withdrawal from family and friends.

One of the major warning signs that children with special needs siblings have is feeling as though they are expected to take on adult-like responsibilities before they are able. Whether that means taking care of their special needs sibling or protecting them from less socially-aware classmates, siblings of children with special needs may feel they must constantly be looking out for their siblings.

There are many resources throughout every community to support both parents and siblings of special needs children. Your pediatrician or local Department of Health can direct you to the right information.

The most important thing to remember is that you are not alone. Approximately one in five children in the United States require additional care.

At Therapeutic Options, we know how important it is to have open communication and complete understanding between all family members. Contact us today to learn how you can receive the understanding, support and comfort you and all of your children deserve.